iHate Clowns
by ReaderExtraordinaire
Summary: When Sam's mom goes on tour with her new boyfriend, Sam is obliged to find temporary lodging with the Shays. Will this afford her a chance to deal with her feelings for a certain dork? Plenty of Seddie, but mostly humor. Tried my best to keep from ooc.
1. Prologue

**A/N Long time reader, first time writer. Review or criticize as you wish. I don't know if I was suppose to add a disclaimer or some sort that I see on some fics. So if anyone could help me out with that info, I'd appreciate it. I've more or less finished this story, but will be adding the chapters as I proof read them for the 50th time. For now, enjoy. Hopefully.**

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_"__Please_ let me go with you, it's not like I'll be in the way." Sam pleaded as she sat on her mother's bed.

Poking through her jewelry case her mom held up a pair of earrings and observed herself in the mirror. "Miss out on any more school and they're going to make you repeat it. I know you'd _love _that."

"Point taken. But why can't I just stay here by myself? Why do you have to let Jeff stay here too? Just leave me money for food, and I'll be fine."

"We tried that one weekend, and remember what happened?", she shot Sam an annoyed look.

Defeated, Sam mumbled, "I bought a used drum set."

"I'm no doctor, but I _am_ smart enough not to repeat that mistake. Besides, Jeff and his friends are harmless, you'll hardly notice them."

"Do you know how creepy they are? With all the laughing, and the costumes, and the miming…_"_ Her sentence trailed off as she started thinking about it._ "_Oh God, the miming." A shiver down her spine brought her back to reality. "Why can't I have just one normal cousin?", she moaned as she buried her face in a pillow.

"Just ignore them, how hard is that?" Her mom replied while starting to pin up her hair.

"Well, we can't all sleep through it like you do."

"Yeah, it's a gift. Then why don't you stay at your friend's place, you know, what's her name, Good Girl Poster Child."

Her mom never was good at remembering names. Maybe that's where she inherited her penchant for nicknames.

"You mean Carly?"

"Yeah, that one."

It's not like the thought hadn't crossed Sam's mind. As ideal as it was, she was embarrassed to let her friends know the extent of her mom's imprudence. She also knew that if she asked Spencer to basically move in for a month, that he would want to talk to her mom about it. And the less exposure society had with that woman, the better.

"I don't know, I don't want to impose."

Applying her makeup in the mirror, her mom chimed in, "If you want, I can ask for you."

Sam pondered the suggestion. Was her mom actually being responsible? An image of her cousin Jeff juggling on a unicycle flashed through her head. Pride be darned.

"Fine. But at least put on a shirt first."

"But it's perfect bikini top weather."

"Mom, no." Sam replied with a stern look.

"Geez, fine."


	2. Chapter 1

"Oh come on!" Spencer yelled, as the head of his pig sculpture rolled across the floor. Making a dancing pig out of pepperoni for the local Bloaty Pizza Hog chain was proving harder than planned. As he readied the decapitated sausage for a scolding, there was a knock at the door. He set the head down, "Don't think this gets you out of a stern lecture mister."

Spencer bound to the door in two leaps, opening it with practiced ease as he started, "Yes, can I help y-," stopping mid sentence as he saw the woman. Older than him, but surely, not by much. Attractive with short-ish, curly blond hair, and familiar blue eyes. Immediately Spencer switched to his charm mode, "why hel-lo, can I help you?"

Sam appeared from behind the woman, in a bored tone of voice, "Spencer, meet my mom, Janine. Mom this is Spencer, Carly's brother."

Spencer's mouth fell just a bit as he held out a hand, looking between mother and daughter, seeing the now obvious resemblance. "Whoa, you're Sam's- um…" clearing his throat, he started over, "Uh, hi, Sam's mom, Janine."

"Call me Jaye."

"Okay, Jaye, what brings you to our humble dwelling today?" Spencer stepped aside, motioning the Pucketts in.

Jaye took two steps inside before blurting, "So my daughter needs a place to crash."

"Geez mom, at least sit down first", said Sam, with a hint of embarrassment.

Ignoring her daughter's rolling eyes, she continued, "My boyfriend's band got booked to be an opening act for the Chains in my Head tour."

"No way! That's awesome."

"What's awesome?" Carly asked as she came down the stairs, "Oh, hi Ms. Puckett, you're in my house?" Carly looked at Sam questionly. Sam just shrugged as she looked to the floor.

Jaye continued to Spencer, "He wants me to go on tour with them, and while I'm gone, I was wondering if Sam could stay here."

Carly stood next to Sam. "For how long?"

"I don't know, 'bout a month?"

"A month?", Spencer asked, surprised.

"She's old enough to stay on her own, but I hear Johnny law doesn't like that too much."

"You were going to let Sam stay by herself for a month?" Carly asked, incredulous.

Unaffected by her failure at a joke, Jaye added, "I'm kidding. It's not like she was going to be by herself. I'm subletting my room to my nephew and a couple of his friends."

"Your nephew?" Spencer asked, trying to wrap his head around the situation.

"Yeah, don't worry, they're circus folk, mostly keep to themselves."

With every sentence that came out of Sam's mom's mouth, Spencer's eyebrows furrowed in half confusion and surprise, "Carnies?"

"Look, it's no problem, just thought I'd ask. Because if Sam stayed here, then I could sublet two rooms. You know, twice the profit. Plus, clowns freak her out."

"Moom!"

Spencer looked at Sam. Instead of seeing the confidently crass girl he was accustomed to, he saw a kid that really had no choice in this matter. He also knew that the loft was the far superior lodging choice, especially when there were carnies involved. "You know what Ms. Sam's mom, she can stay here, absolutely not a problem."

"Like I said, call me Jaye."

"No, no. It's better for everyone if I think of you as Sam's mom."

"Well, great. Solves that problem. Hey, you got a bathroom here or something, I drank way too much orange juice with my hot dogs this morning."

"Yeah, you can use mine right through that door there, just on the left" Spencer offered, wondering if Sam's eating habits were hereditary.

"Great." Jaye said as she disappeared through the door.

Carly turned to Sam, "So, roomie. When ya moving in?"

"I don't know", Sam said, a little quietly, "I know I really didn't ask, but is it okay if I stay here?"

Carly threw an arm around Sam giving her a side hug, "Of course. Don't be ridiculous. You practically live here anyway."

Feeling lightened, Sam flashed a relieved smile at Carly, "Thanks Carls."

Another knock sounded at the door as Freddie poked his head through, "Hey can I come in?"

"Sure", Carly offered, "What's up?"

"Nothing, finished my homework and thought I'd drop in."

"Hey, guess what, Sam's going to be rooming with me for a while."

A little panicked at the thought that his main tormentor was going to be living across from him, Freddie quickly asked, "Why?"

Without going into too much detail, Carly responded, "Oh, her mom's going on travel for a month and she'd rather stay here than with her carnie cousin."

Piping up from the couch, Spencer added, "Yeah, Sam's afraid of clowns."

Smirking at the thought of having an advantage piece of information over his bully, Freddie dared to comment, "_You're _afraid of clowns?"

Balling her fists, Sam stepped forward and responded through clenched teeth, "I am NOT afraid of clowns, I just really DISLIKE them."

Freddie knew that he was in dangerous territory, but his grin widened at her reaction. Before he could make another comment he heard a lady's voice, "Hey, who's the goody two-shoes?"

It was Sam's turn to grin, "See Benson, my mom's never even met you, and even SHE could tell you're a dork."


	3. Chapter 2

Three days later, Sam was in front of the Bushwell building, taking her suitcase and various plastic bags out of her mom's truck. "So where you headed first?"

"First stop, Vegas baby! Whoo! Tour ends in Florida. Gonna be an intense couple weeks."

"Think you'll be back in time for my birthday? "

"I don't know, we'll see. I'll call you though, okay?"

"It's my sweet 16 you know."

"Really? Wow, I'm getting old. "

This wasn't exactly the response Sam was hoping for, but rather than show her disappointment, she shrugged her shoulders and let out her typical response, "Yeah, whatever."

"Hey, you brat, listen, I know I don't say it much, but I love you, kiddo."

With some hesitance, Sam let out, "Yeah, me too."

"Okay, give me a hug, then I'm outta here."

She gave her mom a hug, forcing herself not to cry like a stupid girl.

Jaye made her way around the truck and got in, "Hey, don't forget to give Goofy Guy the money."

Sam knew she meant Spencer. She waved at the retreating truck then turned around and looked up at her new residence, "Well, here goes nothing."

* * *

As Sam knocked on 8-C she struggled to keep a plastic bag on top of her luggage. Carly swung the door open, "Hey Sam, need some help there?"

"Yeah, grab that bag, would ya?"

As they dragged Sam's belongings to the living room, Spencer skipped out of his room.

"Sam! You're here, yay! Look what I made for you!", Spencer handed her a green, plastic blob hanging off a small chain.

"It's, um, a melted clump of army men?", she looked at Spencer confused, "Thank you?"

"No, look, they're shaped like a flower. Get it? War and peace? Or Love and Hate, however you want to interpret it. Because you can't have one", he weighed his hands back and forth emphasizing his point, "without the other." Then rhetorically he stated, "Maybe salt and pepper shakers would have gotten the meaning across better." Turning his attention back to the girls, he enthusiastically added, "But anyways, isn't the awesomeness of the antonym-ness blowing your mind?"

"What am I suppose to do with it?"

"Oh, sorry, here." Spencer pulled out a key out of his pocket, "I forget to mention, it's a key chain. For your very own key."

"Really? Thanks Spence." She looked down at her clump of a key chain with a new admiration. "Oh, and before I forget," she pulled an envelope from her jacket and handed it to Spencer, "here."

"What's this?"

"My mom told me to give it to you for my food expenses."

Spencer looked in the envelope, "Whoa, there must be over $300 in here."

"Four hundred and twenty seven to be exact." Sam said with a proud expression.

In a teasing tone, Carly asked, "So that should last you, what, 2 weeks?"

Playing along, Sam replied, "At least."

They laughed together, before Carly said, "Come on, let me help you take your stuff to my room."

A benefit of living in a loft was definitely the space advantage. Sam dropped her bags on the prepared futon next to Carly's bed. "Hello Poofy, miss me?"

"Why must you name everything?"

"I don't know, ask Eduardo."

"Who's Eduardo?"

"Your hairbrush."

From downstairs they heard Spencer yell, "Hey Carly, Freddie's here!"

"Thanks Spence, be right down." she yelled back.

Sam dramatically flopped herself down on her new bed, "God, moving really takes it out of ya."

Carly laughed, "I'm going downstairs to say hi, you want anything?"

"No, I'll join you."

They made their way downstairs to find Freddie eating out of a bowl of popcorn at the counter.

"Hey Freddie."

"Hey Carly."

"Hey nerd breath."

Freddie glowered, "I thought you weren't coming until later?"

Sam strode next to Freddie and popped a large handful of popcorn in her mouth. "What, no welcome wagon?", spraying pieces of popcorn Freddie's way.

Wiping food bits off his cheek, Freddie scowled at Sam, "Must you always have food in your mouth?

"Only when you're around. Maybe it's because your roast beef shaped head reminds me of food."

There was more honesty to the beginning of that statement than Sam cared for. It was true that she stuffed her mouth more when Freddie was around. Not because of the latter stated reason, but because it was the only way to squelch the darned butterflies in her stomach.

She popped another handful of popcorn and made her way to the couch to watch TV with Spencer.

Truth be told, the butterflies made their first appearance about 6 months ago. It had been eight months since the kiss, and things were more or less normal, just like they agreed upon. Sam was taunting Freddie with a piece of candy she found in her locker that she was certain had been there for over a year. Giving him no time to defend himself, Sam successfully shoved the piece of candy into his mouth and covered it, preventing him from spitting it out. As his lips pursed in struggle, Sam felt the softness on her hand. Instantly, her mind flashed back to that night on the fire escape, remembering how soft his lips felt on hers. As the flood of memories came back, she immediately dropped her hand, releasing Freddie as he shouted in panic, "Oh, God, I swallowed it!"

Ever since then, Sam found herself stealing glances at his lips. She couldn't explain it and rebuked herself every time. Sometimes she would pick a fight with him just for the proximity factor that it lead to. From there, without her consent, her eyes would then quickly stray to that spot just below his nose, which in turn, would set off the swarm with an unrelenting force. As much as she hated to admit it, she was pretty sure she was crushing on the dweeb. But she vowed that if it ever went as far as weak knees, then she would sign up for shock therapy immediately.

She looked up from the couch over at Freddie, who was still talking to Carly at the counter. As if sensing her gaze, his focus shifted from Carly right to Sam. Quickly, Sam grabbed her stomach and turned her attention back to the television set. She forgot how much time Freddie actually spent here. Would a month of stomach aches be worth it? Suddenly, sharing a small house with a gang of painted fools didn't seem like such a bad idea after all.


	4. Chapter 3

Carly held up a sheet of indecipherable scribbling for the camera, "And that folks is what you get when you let Sam do your math homework with her feet."

Sam's head popped up from the floor into the camera's frame, and in an ominous tone spoke, "My feet know all."

Carly laughed, "So don't forget to tune in next week when we let Sam's feet calculate the meaning of life."

Looking thoughtfully into space, Sam added, "I have a feeling it will equal pudding."

Carly joined Sam as they looked off camera dreamily and exaggerated a happy sigh.

Quickly, Carly turned her attention back to the camera, "Also, don't forget viewers, next week's show will be on Thursday instead of our usual Friday. 'Why?', you ask?"

"Why!?" Sam yelled for dramatic effect.

"Should we tell them why?"

"Why of course, Carls."

Carly embellished her bow as she motioned for Sam to take the stage. Sam calmly stepped in front of the camera, then busted out in exaggerated celebration "Because it's my Birthday!", Sam announced as she hit the applause button on her remote. "That's right, sweet, sweet, 16, folks. And you know what that means? That _I_ will legally be allowed to drive."

Poking her head into the frame, Carly added, "So look out drivers and chickens, because Samantha Puckett is taking to the roads."

Freddie turned the camera to himself, "That's_ if_ she manages to stay awake in Driver's Ed. for the second time."

Sam flashed him a scowl before turning the camera back to herself, "And it also means that iCarly will be getting a new technical producer, seeing as how our current one will unfortunately be involved in a hit and run. So please send your qualifications to iCarly dot com for consideration."

Freddie stepped the camera out of Sam's clutches and pointed it to Carly, "Okay folks, that's all for tonight! Until next time, dream high, but aim low."

"Peace."

Freddie deftly hit a few keys on his computer before announcing, "And we're clear. Good show you guys."

"Thanks Freddie." Carly said as she plopped down on the bean bag next to Sam. "So are you guys okay with having our meeting now, instead of Monday? Because this is going to be a busy week and I don't see us having any other free time."

Freddie looked up from where he was winding up his cable, "Sure."

Sam was busy putting on her shoes, and responded with a shrug.

"So, what ideas have we got?"

Sam raised her hand, "Ooh! I know, pig races."

Incredulous, Carly asked, "How are we going to get pigs?"

"I think I know where I can get us some.", Sam offered.

"Where?"

"Do they have to be alive?

"Yes."

"Then I don't know."

Freddie looked up from his computer, "Hey, you know what we haven't had in a long time? Live entertainment."

Sam answered in an annoyed tone, "Isn't that what we do every show?"

"No, I mean like a performer. Music or talent of some sort."

"Yeah," Carly added, "Hey, what about your cousin, Sam? I'm sure him and his crew could perform a few tricks."

A bit panicky, Sam answered, "What? No, nuh uh, nope, absolutely not. Out of the question."

"Why not, it's genius!"

Crossing her arms, Sam stated resolutely, "No."

Teasing, Freddie asked, "Why not, you're not _afraid_, are you?"

Sam narrowed her eyes at Freddie.

They were interrupted by the alarm on Carly's phone. "Oh hey, I'm sorry you guys, but my dad's going to call soon. I'll be back in a few."

"Bring some food." Sam added as Carly left. She always felt a tinge of jealousy when Carly and her brother got their weekly call from their dad. It amazed her that a man as busy as their father would take time out of his Air Force duties to call his children half a world away. Discreetly, she pulled out her phone and looked down at it. In the three weeks she had been staying at the Shays, she had yet to hear from her mother.

Freddie watched Sam from behind his media cart and noticed as her eyes faltered slightly into sadness. There was once a time, not too long ago, that he could pretend to ignore this, but that was before the kiss.

For the first few months, life went on as usual, just like they agreed. Until one day, when Sam had him in a particularly unyielding headlock, he looked down and noticed a small scar on her knee. While Sam rummaged through his wallet, Freddie found himself wondering how she got the scar. Out of all the many adjectives used to describe Sam, oddly enough, clumsy was not one of them. It brought to mind her previous exhibitions of agility. Images of her, skillfully dodging teachers through the crowded hallways at school, and in one impressive memory, he saw her run past Gibby, knock his books to the floor with one hand and give him a wedgie with the other, all without breaking stride. In fact, she was, dare he say, graceful?

As she released him, dropping his wallet to the floor and brandishing a twenty dollar bill, Freddie couldn't help but notice a flush of exertion in her cheeks. If he wasn't directly involved in the effort, the rouge on her face could easily have been mistaken for a blush. Instantly, his mind flashed back to their kiss, and the faint blush on her cheeks as he pulled away. He remembered that look of vulnerability mixed with innocence that was so completely unlike the Sam that she presented.

After that, he couldn't help but look at her, wondering if he would ever see that look again. It only took a few weeks of discreet observation before Freddie found himself staring at Sam for a different reason than what he started out with. While Carly had a beauty that guys couldn't help but notice, Sam had a beauty that rewarded you if you noticed. When she looked at you with a raised eyebrow you couldn't help but accept the challenge to figure out what she was thinking. And with a rare smile almost as addictive as her laugh, you couldn't help but want more. As much as he tried to deny it, he was crushing on Sam. He wondered if she ever noticed his glances? Well, he was still alive, so the answer was probably no.

As if hearing his thoughts, Sam's head snapped up and met Freddie's gaze. "What are you looking at nub?"

Flustered, Freddie stuttered, "Oh, n-nothing, just spaced out, I guess."

Stuffing her phone back into her pocket, Sam mocked, "Told you books would rot your brain."

Eager to lift her mood, Freddie asked, "So, excited for your birthday party?"

"Yeah, actually. No one's ever thrown me a big bash before, so I guess you can say I'm pretty excited. But Carly didn't have to go and invite the whole school."

"Well, you know, when Carly and her brother plan something, they like to pull out all the stops."

"You know what I should demand? One of those moon bounce thingies."

Freddie made his way to the beanbag next to Sam, getting into the conversation, he added, "Yeah, but what would be even better is if we put a whole bunch of those things all over the apartment, you know? Wall to wall."

Excited, Sam continued, "Yeah! And we could get those Sumo suits and just have an all out brawl the entire evening."

Sarcastically, Freddie commented, "Well, I guess you'll just have to settle for a measly blowout party with tons of food and presents instead. Bummer."

Sam let out a small chuckle, "I would have been happy with just a cake, they really didn't have to plan this whole thing. I didn't earn this."

Before he could stop himself, Freddie blurted out, "That's not true, I couldn't think of anyone who deserved this more."

Surprised, Sam raised an eyebrow at Freddie, then instantly clutched her stomach.

Concerned, Freddie asked, "Are you okay?

Trying to downplay her situation, Sam answered, "Yeah, just hungry."

"Ah, of course." Pulling a candy bar out of his pocket, he handed it to Sam, "Here, I was saving it for later, but you can have it."

"Thanks, goob." As she grabbed for the candy, her hand overshot its target and her fingers overlapped his.

Their hands jumped back from each other, dropping the candy bar in the process. They both looked at each other with matching faces of confusion. Sam's expression, though, gradually changed to worry as she bit her bottom lip. Curious and bravely, Freddie slowly started to reach out his hand towards Sam's, which was still poised slightly in the air before her. Halfway through Freddie's reach, Carly walked in the door, looking at her phone, "Hey Sam, you won't believe who just accepted the invite to your party." She looked up to see Sam and Freddie clutching their respective beanbags, wearing the same expression of shock. "Did I…interrupt something?"

Freddie was the first to recover and stood up, "Ah, no. I was just figuring out what camera angle I should use when Sam's cousin performs."

Sam, catching on quick, shot back, "I'm not asking him, and that's final." In clumsy afterthought, she added, "Doof."

Carly, oblivious, continued, "So go ahead, guess who."

Recovered, Sam enthusiastically asked, "Kyle Meeks, Meat King of Seattle?"

"Scotty Foster."

"Shut up. Is he my present?"

The girls both giggled.

Freddie closed his laptop, "Okay, boy talk, that's my cue to go."

As he opened the door, Sam teasingly yelled out, "Aw, come on, don't be jealous of Scotty the Hottie."

Carly laughed as Freddie looked up at Sam, she smirked at him and took a huge bite out of the candy bar. Smiling, Freddie closed the door.

* * *

**A/N I know some of you may be asking, "What happened in the missing three weeks?", so I'll give the summary. Freddie took many baths, Carly did her homework, and Sam watched TV. I just didn't write it all out because...well...writing is hard. So hats off to you who do this regularly. Even the reviewers, because technically, that's writing too.**


	5. Chapter 4

The next two nights were restless for Freddie. He played the candy bar incident over and over again in his head. What did it mean? Was it at all possible that _maybe_ Sam felt those butterflies too when their hands touched? It wasn't exactly like he could ask her, Sam wasn't the type to give up information unless provoked. So he knew what he had to do, like teasing a lion with a steak, Freddie was going to provoke Sam. After spending a majority of Sunday figuring out a plan, he swung his backpack over his shoulder and made his way to 8-C.

After knocking, Freddie strolled in to find Sam munching a bowl of cereal at the table. Sitting in the opposite chair, he calmly greeted her, "Hello, Sam."

"Dork face."

"Where's everybody?"

"Spencer's at Socko's and Carly's finishing her homework."

Okay, it was now or never. "Change your mind about inviting your cousin for the show yet?"

"Yes, actually, I thought about it for a second last night, then realized my answer is still no."

"Bet I can change your mind."

"How, by admitting that you're moving to France to pursue your lifelong dream of street performing? Fat chance twerp."

"Oh, I think you will after you see this." Freddie clunked a hideously attired clown doll on the table between them. Sam's eyes widened ever so slightly.

She looked at Freddie, "What the heck dude?"

"Nothing, just thought I'd show you the newest addition to the iCarly team."

Sam could see Freddie relishing in the idea that he finally got her in checkmate. She never had the patience for chess, but knew that when it came to winning the game, you should always stay one step ahead of the opponent. Slowly and calmly Sam stood up and walked backwards toward the fridge.

Freddie inwardly rejoiced as he watched Sam retreat away from the table, but before he could fully savor the victory, BAM! The doll fell to the floor, having been knocked down by whatever projectile Sam had lurched out of the fridge.

It was Freddie's turn to widen his eyes as he scrambled up from his chair.

"What's the matter Benson, scared of a little cheese?"

In place of where the doll was once standing lay a good size wedge of cheddar cheese.

Trying to downplay his fright, Freddie stammered, "N-no. I have no idea what you're talking about." All the while never taking his eyes off the offending cheddar.

"Come on, I know all about the time that cheese display defeated your three year old butt."

Freddie knew she had him, in all the planning, he never thought to account for having the tables turned. So he did the only thing he could think of, in one swift move he picked the clown doll off the floor, chucked it at Sam and ran for the door.

Despite her best efforts, Sam let out a small, girlish scream as she avoided the doll, which she instantly berated herself for. Suddenly, her hunter senses took over, as she leapt to the table, grabbed the cheese and hurled it at Freddie's head. It connected with massive thud, followed by Freddie landing mere inches shy of the door.

Sam caught up, turned him over and sat on his torso while grabbing two fistfuls of his shirt. Leaning in close and yanking his head off the floor she warned him, "That was a stupid move jank face. I have no idea what you were thinking, but now you got to pay."

As frightened as Freddie was, he didn't get a chance to think about it. Instead of concentrating on an escape maneuver, or how to coach his body to ignore the pain, he found himself wondering if Sam's eyes were blue with green, or green with blue.

"Did you hear me, geek?!" Sam yelled.

This broke Freddie out of his thoughts, "Uh, what?"

"I said, do you want a burial or cremation?"

He saw that her arm was poised and ready for the first blow. Now, his survival instincts kicked in as he tried to turn his body, realizing that Sam had effectively pinned him. He glanced one more time at Sam's eyes, maybe in hopes of a silent plea. It was then that he noticed her eyes flick down to his lips. It was only for a second, but he saw it. Before he could think of the meanings behind the action, Carly appeared behind Sam, grabbing her arm before she could deliver the punch.

"Sam, let Freddie go, you know he bruises easily."

Even while being dragged off, Sam tried to land a kick on Freddie's retreating posterior. Concerned, Carly asked, "What's going on down here?"

"Mamma's boy over there unsuccessfully tried to blackmail with a clown doll into asking my cousin to do the show."

Rubbing the back of his head, Freddie explained, "That was before she bludgeoned me with a block of cheese."

"Oh please, it's just a small wedge, learn to take a dairy product to the head like a man." Sam retorted.

"What does that even mean?!" Freddie yelled.

Carly interrupted, "OKAY, stop! Freddie, apologize to Sam for the clown, and Sam, apologize to Freddie for the concussion."

"No!", they cried in unison.

Carly turned toward Sam, "If you don't apologize, I'm keeping that doll in my room, where it can watch you while you sleep." Then she turned to Freddie, "And if you don't apologize, I'm telling your mom that you eat with your elbows on the table when you're here."

"Fine", Freddie said.

A lesser enthusiastic Sam agreed too, "Ugh, fine. I'm sorry for hitting the soft spot on your abnormally large head."

"Uh, gee, thanks?" It wasn't exactly a typical apology, but it was the best that they were going to get out of Sam, he continued, "And I'm sorry for trying to blackmail you."

"Good, now Sam, I'm going to grab our jackets, Spencer's going to be here soon to take us to the mall. Please don't kill each other for at least a minute." Carly ran upstairs to retrieve their coats.

Sam turned to Freddie, "You got lucky this time. But next time, I'll be calling your next of kin."

"Oh yeah? Well remind me to grab my lucky clown nose."

Sam glared at Freddie.

As Freddie tried to match Sam's glare, he noticed her eyes flick down to his mouth. There! She did it again!

Before Freddie could react, they were interrupted by Carly, "Hey Sam, Spence called me from downstairs, let's go." She tossed Sam her jacket.

Sam put it on and followed Carly to the door. Halfway out, Carly turned around, "Hey Freddie, do me a favor, can you lock up when you leave?"

"Yeah sure." Eager to confirm his theory, he added, "Hey, do you have any gauze, I think She-Ra over there made me bite my lip."

Sam kept Carly moving forward, "Shut up Benson, nothing's wrong with your mouth.", closing the door behind her.

Freddie smiled, he knew it. She WAS looking at his lips.

* * *

**A/N The cheese thing comes from Freddie's blog on the website.**


	6. Chapter 5

It was after school on Friday as Carly laughed with Freddie about Thursday night's show. Since they were unable to agree on an entertainment act, the gang acted out a script collaborated by the viewers instead. The story was an amalgamation of a space farmer who missed his brother the monkey after he was killed defending the rights of sushi children from Planet 9. It was confusing on paper, but once they started to act it out, the story took on a life of it's own. It was so successful, that they agreed to use the idea again in case of emergencies.

They talked as they swept the floor and set up the tables for Sam's party. Earlier, while they were at school, Spencer had moved a majority of the furniture and shelves to the storage in the basement. It was more labor intensive than Spencer had estimated and as a result, had set him back on finishing Sam's present. Which he was now furiously working on in the kitchen while jamming to his headphones.

Looking at the rain outside the window, Carly commented, "Sam was hoping the rain would stop by the time she got out of detention. I hope she found a replacement umbrella to get home with. "

Freddy looked up from under a folding table that he was trying to fix, "What happened, again, exactly?"

"Sam was upset about failing the quiz in Mr. Draper's class, so she took her umbrella and started pounding out her frustration on the locker below hers. Get this, she managed to put a hole in the locker then got the umbrella stuck in it. Right then, Mr. Castille came out of the teacher's lounge, and you know Sam, she ran as soon as she saw him. But just as Mr. Castille was about to chase after her, he tripped on the umbrella and broke it right in two."

Freddie was trying to imagine the whole scene in his head, "Poor Mr. Castille."

"Yeah. T'was an unfortunate end for Fontaine."

"Fontaine?"

"That's what Sam called her umbrella."

Slightly amused, Freddie asked, "Why?"

"Just so she can say, 'Time to block the rain Mr. Fontaine' every time she used it."

Freddie chuckled as he went to the hook up his Xbox to the flat screen. Suddenly, the door opened and a hooded, drenched Sam stepped in.

Carly looked up from her sweeping, "Oh my God, Sam, what happened?"

Shaking off her hoodie, Sam replied in annoyance, "Ugh, this is the worst day ever! First off, we had that stupid quiz in Draper's class. Didn't he get the memo to go easy on me today? And don't even get me started on detention."

"Well you did trip a teacher." Freddie said from behind the television.

Sam sat down on the couch, "It's not my fault he doesn't know how to watch where he steps. Then on the way here that freak storm started up again. By the way, the elevator's broken, so I had to use the stairs. This is suppose to be my day. MY DAY! I swear, this is the worst birthday ever."

Carly placed a hand on her wet shoulder, "Well, it'll get better, I promise. Just wait until you see this place all fancy and decorated. It'll totally be worth it."

"I guess." Sam turned her head to the right where she could see the top of Spencer's head bobbing up and down. "Hey what's Spencer working on?"

Just as she craned her neck to get a better look, Spencer turned around, eyes big as saucers, "NOOO! Cover your eyes! Secret project, you're not suppose to see it until it's done!" Spencer threw his body on the present trying to obscure it from sight.

Sam immediately placed her hands over her eyes, "Sorry! Sorry, I'm covering my eyes now. I swear I didn't see a thing."

Carly pulled Sam up from the couch by the elbow and led her to the stairs. "Go upstairs and take a long hot shower and a nap. Relax, leave the rest to us."

"With my luck, there'll be a rabid squirrel waiting for me in the shower."

"I already got rid of him before you came, so you're safe."

* * *

Two hours later, the loft looked completely transformed. Along the walls, colorful twinkle lights reflected off metallic garlands of stars. They matched perfectly with the various computer monitors and spare TVs that were placed around the room displaying music visualizations, courtesy of Freddie. To top it off, the tables were full of Sam's favorite foods, making it look more like a restaurant buffet than a modest birthday party.

Carly placed a trash can by the front door and surveyed the room. Satisfied with their work, she looked at the clock, noticing that it was already 7. Freddie had gone home just minutes before to get ready and finish wrapping Sam's gift. Although the invitations said 7, Carly knew she didn't have to worry, because nobody ever showed up on time. Which is why she was surprised when she heard a knock on the door.

"Gibby? Why are you on time?"

"I know I should have arrived fashionably late, but there's going to be dancing, and I need to prepare."

"Prepare?"

"Yeah, I can't just bust out my sweet moves without being properly warmed up first."

Amused, Carly replied, "That's fine, there's food if you're hungry, so help yourself. I'm going upstairs to wake Sam and get ready, do you mind answering the door if anyone else comes?"

Already in mid stretch, Gibby answered, "You can count on me."

An hour later, Carly guided a blindfolded Sam down the stairs.

"Okay, if this doesn't cheer you up, than I don't know what will," she took the blindfold off, "Happy Birthday!"

"Wow, Carls, this is awesome! The place looks great."

"Oh, it's nothing."

"No, really, thank you. You guys really didn't have to go through all this trouble."

"Hey, you only turn 16 once. Besides, in a few months, when it's my turn, I'm counting on you to top this."

"Burritos at the Taco Pantry it is then."

Freddie opened the door, "Hey guys, am I the first one here?"

Carly looked around, "No, Gibby should be around here somewhere." She spotted him laying on the dance floor, fast asleep. "Aww, poor kid, the anticipation must have wore him out."

Sam shook her head, "Noob."

* * *

By 9 o'clock, the party was in full swing. Most of the guests had arrived and were already milling around, having fun.

By 10 o'clock Sam had insisted on birthday cake and presents. Everyone was given the warning that if they even tried to sing her the birthday song, that it would be the last thing that ever came out of their mouths. Most people were unsure of what to get Sam, so she ended up with a wide assortment of gifts. Everything from gift cards to power tools. After opening everyone else's gift, Carly handed Sam a thin, mid-sized, rectangular box.

Weighing the present in her hand, Sam joked, "Feeling a little light there, huh?"

Carly laughed, "Just open it."

Sam lifted the lid off the box, "Bacon of the month club? Oh my God, this is awesome! Thank you so much Carly!", she hugged her friend all the while never taking her eyes off the certificate.

Freddie stepped forward next and handed Sam his present. It was small, no larger than the size of his hand, yet, he must have wrapped, and rewrapped it about 10 times, trying his best to get it just right.

In the past, he never put much thought into Sam's present, knowing she would hate it just on principle. Previous winners included an adult sized bib, a stress ball (which Sam agreed worked as she threw it forcefully into Freddie's gut), and a gift card to Inside Out Burger, which was promptly emptied the next day. But this year, was different. He needed it to be.

Sam gingerly took the present from Freddie, "Thanks dork." She unwrapped it halfway before a small smile started to form.

"What is it?" Carly asked.

Sam took the rest of the wrapper off and showed it to Carly.

"Shoelaces?"

"Look closer."

"With little hams? That's awesome!"

"Right?" Sam looked up and saw Freddie smile, eyes twinkling with satisfaction at her positive reception.

With smile that reflected his own, she thanked him again, "Thanks, Freddie." Immediately, she sat down on the floor among the wrapping paper and started compounding her existing laces with her new present.

As Sam stood up, she noticed Spencer awkwardly walking backwards out of his bedroom. Without turning around, Spencer yelled out, "I hope you didn't waste your surprise face before you've seen this!"

He spun around revealing his finished present.

"Oh my God, Spencer, it's perfect!", screamed Sam.

"Yeah, had to work off of photos, but you know, I got skills." Spencer said smugly as he connected the rope to it. Applause and laughter slowly broke out as they saw the effigy piñata of Mrs. Briggs being hoisted up.

Before Spencer even finished anchoring the piñata down, Sam stood below the crepe paper creation with baseball bat in hand, waiting for the okay.

Spencer lifted an eyebrow, "Where'd you get a bat so fast? Because I'm pretty sure I don't own one."

"Eh, I got my ways. The more important question is: Is it ready yet?"

Pulling at the knot, Spencer confirmed, "Yep, swing away."

In three strong swings from Sam, candy exploded over the guests with surprising velocity. She picked up a handful of sweets and gave Spencer a hug, "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Aww, you're welcome, Sammy. Remember, bats are for piñatas only, real people are off limits."

"Yeah, yeah, Carly already lectured me on that."

Spencer started taking down the remnants of shredded paper when Freddie noticed Sam quickly glance down at her phone. As he wondered what that was about, Carly dragged them both to the TV for a round of Rock Band.

After about another hour and a half, the party started to dwindle down. Sam took a break from perusing the leftovers and leaned against the window by the stairs to observe the party. A majority of the crowd was gathered around the television, watching an intense, if not hilarious, guitar duel between Spencer and Gibby. Several were still dancing, including Carly, who managed to win the attention of the elusive Scotty the Hottie. Freddie was on the couch with the rest of the uncoordinated, talking to a kid from the AV club. Sam slowly pulled her phone out of her pocket and glanced at it one more time. Maybe she needed better reception? When she was sure no one was watching, she slipped out the front door.

Little did she know, only one person saw her leave. After politely excusing himself, Freddie followed suit.


	7. Chapter 6

Following his instincts, Freddie walked down the hall to the fire escape. Sure enough, there was Sam, sitting on the window sill, looking down at her phone.

"Hey."

Startled, Sam turned around, "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing, just getting a little fresh air."

"Right, but I don't think you can run away from your own smell. Sorry bucko."

"Har har. Mind if I join you?"

Too tired to argue, Sam agreed, "Sure, why not." She scooted over to make room for him.

"Enjoying your party so far?"

"Yeah, what's not to love? Food, presents, food, music, food."

"So you liked your presents?"

"Yeah, I really do." She kicked up her foot causing her knot of laces to bounce up.

"Those weren't easy to find, you know, so take care of them."

"Whatever, Benson, you're not my mother."

Freddie nodded toward her phone and asked, "Has she called yet?"

Sam looked at him surprisingly, before resigning to disappointment, "No."

"Oh." Freddie responded. He had figured that was the reason she kept looking at her phone. "Well, have you tried calling her?"

Sam sighed, "Yeah, but it just goes straight to voicemail."

"Oh." Freddie was uncertain of how to react. As he took his time calculating his next response, he lifted his hand and brushed some imaginary lint off his slacks.

Putting his hand back on the sill, he noticed his pinky covering something warm. As if playing a mirror game, they looked at each other then quickly, turned their attention to their hands. Freddie took a moment to register that he was still alive. Whether it was this fact, or the increasing adrenaline levels, he slowly found the courage to start moving again. With caution and gentleness, he gradually traveled his fingers over hers. Shock stilled his movement when Sam started scooting her hand further under his. By definition, they weren't holding hands, it was merely one hand resting on top of another, but it was enough to send a breathtaking warmth through the both of them.

Freddie swallowed nervously and moved his gaze up toward Sam's face. She was still looking down at their hands, but what made him smile was seeing the small curl of happiness at the corner of her mouth.

Happily, Freddie started, "You know what, who cares if she calls. You're having fun, right?"

"Yeah, but I just, kinda wish…"

"Kind of wish what?"

"I just kind of wished she cared, you know? I mean, it's my birthday for crying out loud. The woman could have at least sent me a text or something."

Curling his fingers slightly around her hand he suggested, "I'm pretty sure she cares, you know, in her own way."

"How?"

At a loss for an example, Freddie offered, "Um, she left you money for food, right?"

Sarcastically, Sam replied, "Yeah, what a thoughtful lady." After a beat she continued, "The only thing that woman cares about is herself. Herself and her good looks."

Trying to slyly compliment her, Freddie said, "Well, I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh?"

With her mind still stuck on the selfishness of her mother, she missed the compliment in Freddie's statement. "What's that suppose to mean? That I'm as reckless as her?"

"Th-That's not what I meant. I-I just meant to say-"

Pulling her hand back, Sam asked, "What? That when I grow up, I'm going to be an irresponsible, sad sack of a woman just like her?"

"No, Sam, listen-"

Sam stood up and continued, "Don't bother, I know what you're going to say. I'm sure it's what everybody says, 'Oh, that Sam, she can't help that she's a bad kid, it's just in her nature.'"

Freddie stood up to face her and paused for a moment, the words stinging a distant memory of having once uttered something similar. He took a breath before speaking, "That's because they don't know you." Momentarily, he saw that look again. But this time, the vulnerability wasn't mixed with innocence, it was brimming with hurt.

The lack of denial was too much for Sam, so she did the only thing she could think of, "You know what? Take your stupid present back." She took off her shoes knotting them with one swift loop and hurled them at Freddie. He ducked just in time as they sailed over his head, landing on a service wire just beyond the fire escape. She was already halfway out the window when she added, "And I'm tired of looking at your stupid face, so don't even bother coming back to the party."

Freddie pleaded, "Sam...", but it was too late, she already stormed down the hall, out of sight. He didn't chase her because he knew her well enough to know that when she hurt, she made other people feel it 10 times worse.

Freddie's anger quickly morphed into regret. He should have known to be more careful around her when she was unguarded. He also knew he should have tried harder to make her listen. How did a perfect moment all of a sudden become one of the worst arguments of his life? How could he show Sam that she was wrong? That deep down she was good, and so was her mother. He quickly considered his options, but was having trouble thinking of a scenario that wouldn't end with him in a coffin. After sitting on the fire escape steps for a contemplative amount of time, it occurred to him with brilliance. He knew exactly what he had to do. Quickly he ran back to his apartment to get started.

* * *

**A/N I've rewritten this chapter about 100 times, and I still don't feel it's quite right. So please pardon the disjointedness. I'd also like to take this moment to thank those who gave this story a chance and left a review. Thanks**.


	8. Chapter 7

Carly opened one eye to see the morning light shining through her window. Squinting, she looked at the clock, 9:40? Ugh, why did it seem so much earlier? Granted, they didn't get to sleep until well after 2 in the morning, cleaning and winding down, but still, 7 hours should have recharged her batteries. Lifting her head, she found Sam sprawled across her legs. She shook one leg, "Sam."

Sam barely moved, "Nugggh."

Carly bounced her leg up and down, "Sam, wake up."

Sam quickly brought an arm out from under the covers and held down the bouncing leg, "No bounsh."

Carly noticed the hand that stopped her leg had a firm grip on a cell phone. Did Sam know she slept like that all night?

"Come on Sam, you need to get up, plus, I can't feel my other leg."

Slowly, Sam moved off of Carly's legs to an upright position, eyes still closed. Carly slowly got up, shaking off pins and needles as she went to the bathroom for her morning routine. When she got out, freshly showered and dressed, she found Sam, still sitting upright on the bed, eyes closed. "Are you asleep?"

"Mmmphsh", Sam mumbled.

"Well, I'll be downstairs when you decide to stop being a zombie."

Sticking her arms straight out in front of her, Sam moaned, "Braainzzzzz."

Carly chuckled as she walked down stairs to find her brother watching TV on the couch. "Morning Spence."

"Hey, morning sis. Where's Sam?"

"Still on my bed. She's having her daily fight with the morning."

Spencer stood up and started making his way to the kitchen, "You guys hungry?"

"Yeah, what are you going to make? Omelettes?"

"Uh, no, it's past ten, it's almost lunch. How about something like pizza?"

"Lunch? We barely woke up, it's obviously breakfast time."

"Oh dear sister, clearly we are at an impasse."

"An impasse?"

"Yes, it means scratchy and uncomfortable."

"No it doesn't, it means-"

"ANYwhoo, I know how to remedy the situation."

"You do? How?"

"Pizza omelette brunch."

"Ew."

"Omelette pizza brunch?"

"Mmm, better! Let me see if Freddie wants some."

Carly made her way across the hall and knocked on 8-D. An anxious Mrs. Benson opened the door, "Oh hi, Carly, how are you this mid morning?"

"Fine, thanks. Is Freddie home?"

"Yes, Carly, but I'm afraid that he's still asleep. He might be sick, I'm very worried, I was just about to sanitize the thermometer."

"What? Why, what's wrong? "

"Well, for the life of me, I can't seem to wake him this morning. Looks like he was getting some late night studying in and fell asleep at his desk. My poor little angel."

Studying? Carly thought. On a Friday night? That boy sure knows how to cap a party.

"Do you mind if I try to wake him?" she asked.

"You can try, dear, but I've been unsuccessful so far. I even had to delay his morning manicure."

Stiffling a laugh, Carly repeated, "Morning manicure?"

"Oh yes, you can never underestimate the importance of clean nail beds."

With a suppressed grin, Carly skipped to Freddie's room. Sure enough, with his head on his desk and a phone clutched in his hand, Freddie was slacked mouthed, slumbering. Numbers were scribbled on every paper in sight, and oddly enough phone books and maps lay strewn about. What _was_ Freddie doing last night?

Carly nudged him on the shoulder, "Freddie?" This elicited no response. Shaking his shoulder Carly repeated a little louder, "Hey Freddie, your mom's breaking out the photo albums and showing your baby pictures to everyone." Still nothing.

Man, he was out. What would wake him up? Would she have to resort to scare tactics? "Hey Freddie, if you don't wake up I'm going to let Sam in here, and when she sees your pajamas..."

Carly didn't even have to finish her sentence before Freddie's head popped up from his desk.

"Wha- huh?"

Carly laughed. "Hey, Spencer is making an omelette pizza for brunch, you want to join us?"

"Huh? What time is it?"

"Almost half past 10."

"Oh wow." He looked around, still disoriented.

Carly smirked at his disheveled appearance. "Well, if you want to join us, it should be ready in about 15 minutes."

Freddie stretched as he looked around at his mess, "Yeah, sorry, sounds great. Let me straighten up and I'll be over."

"What were you doing last night anyway?"

"Oh, uh...research?"

Skeptical, she drawled out, "Okaay? See ya in 15?"

Freddie confirmed with a nod.

With that, Carly went back to her place to find Spencer dancing to loud music while tossing vegetables into a food processor, rhythmically matching movements to the beat of the song. Sam was sitting at the counter munching pilfered ingredients and watching in amusement.

Carly joined her at the counter and yelled, "Freddie's coming".

Ignoring the drop in her chest, Sam yelled back, "Oh great, and my morning was going just fine." Quickly, Sam started thinking of plausible excuses to skip breakfast, only to be interrupted by her buzzing phone on the counter.

"Who is it?", Carly shouted.

"I don't know, it says 'Unknown'." Cuffing a hand to her mouth, Sam yelled, "I'm going to take this out in the hall."

"Okay."

As Sam left, Carly heard Spencer yell, "Help, it's alive!" Carly turned to see Spencer struggling to keep chopped vegetables from flying out of the food processor.

Again Spencer yelled, "Hurry, before it convinces the oven this is a good idea." Carly ran to her brother's rescue.

Out in the hall Sam answered her phone, "Hello?"

"Samantha?"

"Mom?"

"Hey, can you hear me?"

"Barely."

"I broke my phone, so I'm using some old man's."

"So…what's up?"

"We just got done with an after show party."

Sam looked at the time on her phone as she slumped against the wall, "That must have been some party."

"No, it actually ended pretty early. It's not even 3am yet."

"3am? Where are you?"

"Tokyo."

"Tokyo?! I thought you were going to be in Florida?"

"Yeah, change of plans. You should see this city, it's killer."

Sam turned her attention to the no smoking sign on the wall, picking at the corner, "I have, remember? Our show won an award there?"

"Oh yeah, forgot."

"Among other things." Sam muttered under her breath.

"Hey, I heard that, you brat."

"Yeah, well." Sam replied, lacking a witty comeback.

"Listen, I'm sorry I forgot to call yesterday. It's hard to keep track of the days with all the traveling and stuff. Not to mention my phone broke, and you know how I am with numbers. So, happy birthday kid. Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, Carly and her brother threw a party for me."

"With presents?"

"Yeah."

"Nice. Look, I'm beat, I really should get to bed. We're headed to New Zealand tomorrow, can you believe that?"

Sarcastically, Sam replied, "Awesome."

"Apparently this dude wants his phone back. How do you say 'back off old man' in Japanese?"

Trying not to be amused, Sam replied, "I don't know."

"I should be home next week, so I'll give you your present then. Oh, and tell your friend thanks for reminding me."

Sam stopped peeling the sign, "Carly called you?"

"No, the other one. Two shoe."

Sam was silent as she tried to figure out who her mom was talking about.

"Hey, I have to go, but, I love you, kiddo."

Sam smiled, "Thanks mom, love you too."

As she pushed the end button, she slowly turned around, aware someone was watching her.

Freddie peeked out from behind his half open door. Sam stopped and took in Freddie's concerned look. Or was it a cautious look? His hair still half fluffed on one side from sleeping at his desk.

Feeling that it was safe to talk, Freddie asked, "Was that your mom?"

"Yeah...", then it clicked with Sam. The mussed hair, the look of guilt, and under eye bags, not something common to Mr. Goody Two Shoes.

Both were silent, not knowing what to say, or who should go first. Should Freddie tell her about the telephone adventures he had all night and morning tracking down her mom? Should Sam tell Freddie that this present just trumped the shoelaces?

When a more than adequate amount of time had passed, Freddie decided to forego any attempts at conversation and make his way to Carly's apartment.

He only took two steps before he heard, "Hey, Freddie." He turned to look at Sam. With a swift step and a rock to her tiptoes, she threw her arms around his shoulders. The hug was tight and sincere as she whispered, "Thanks."

Unlike the friendly hugs that Freddie and Carly shared, there were just a couple reasons that made the ones with Sam more meaningful. First, that they were one of the rarest commodities around. Second, they made his smile increase beyond capacity. And third, there was never any space left between them.

Pulling away, Sam smirked, "Hungry?"

Freddie grinned in response, "Famished."

They made their way through the door to find Carly helping Spencer pick bell peppers out of his hair.

Spencer, unfazed, waved at Freddie, "Hey, just in time, the pizza's in the oven and should be ready in a few."

Freddie pulled out the chair for Sam as they got to the table, earning him scowl and warning look from the blonde. Quickly, Freddie extracted his hand and sat down in the adjacent chair. But from the corner of his eye, he could swear that he saw the slightest hint of a grin on Sam's face as she sat down.

The oven bell dinged, prompting Spencer to leap up pronouncing, "What happens when it's too late to have breakfast, but too early for lunch?" Taking the food out of the oven with flourish he continued, "Well my friends, thus begat the wondrous invention of BRUNCH! Dig in folks!"

As the gang ate, they talked and laughed planning out their weekend. Sam glanced at Freddie, who was looking up at her. Yep, definitely one of the best birthdays she's had.

* * *

**A/N Don't worry, there's an epilogue coming.**


	9. Epilogue

When Sam's mom came back a week later, she brought with her a "Foods of the World" gift basket, consisting of various meats and goodies that she bought for Sam on her travels. Sam loved it.

Over the next couple of weeks, things more or less went back to normal. Weekly web casts, bickering, smoothies. Life was as it once was before. One thing did change though, Sam stopped spending a majority of her evenings at Carly's place. Opting instead to go home at a reasonable hour to spend more time with her mom.

Or at least, that's what Carly thought.

One night, after Sam and Freddie went home, Carly noticed Sam's cell phone tucked into one of the beanbags. Sam should have reached home by now, so she called her residence.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ms. Puckett, it's Carly, is Sam home?"

"Nope, not yet. Thought she was still at your place."

"No, she left about half an hour ago. It's okay, she must have just made a pit stop. Can you tell her she forgot her cell phone here when she gets in?"

"Eh, I'm sure she'll figure it out."

"Uh, okay. Bye."

Well, since she had the phone in her possession, she might as well grab some photos off of it of a crazy bell pepper shaped like a foot they spotted earlier at the market. After futile searching, she realized she was going to have to ask Freddie for his card adapter.

Just as Carly's hand was about to knock on door 8-D, she heard a familiar sound, laughter. Sam's laughter. But didn't she go home?

Slowly Carly followed the sound down the hall and cautiously peeked around the corner toward the fire escape. At first, her eyes couldn't believe what she saw. Freddie was sitting on the ladder steps as Sam leaned against the railing, absentmindedly twirling her key chain around her finger. From Carly's vantage point, they looked at ease and comfortable; still smiling at each other from some joke. It was like one of those pictures, "Can You Spot What's Wrong?" Craning her head a little more she eavesdropped on the conversation.

"Hey, bet you five bucks I can spit my gum into one of the shoes."

"No, you're going to disturb the family living there."

Over the past few weeks, a small family of birds had made their home in one of Sam's dangling shoes.

"Duh, Benson, that's why there's two shoes."

"Seriously? Five dollars? You're on."

Sam put her hands on the rail, using it as an anchor as she nearly launched herself over the edge. The bars rattled from her movement.

Freddie instantly jumped to her side, grabbing the back of her jacket and putting a hand on her arm, "Hey, be careful!"

Sam ignored him as she continued to lean over the edge, watching her gum sail toward the shoes and then past them.

"Aww man, stupid wind. I demand to look at the instant replay." She turned her head towards Freddie and joked, "Geez, relax, mom, I'm fine."

Releasing her sweater, but keeping a hand on her arm he said, "Sorry, you just never know how stable these old fire escapes are."

Laughing at the cuteness of his worry, she tried to lighten the mood, "Well, sucks for you guys if there's an actual fire."

Freddie nervously tried to chuckle.

Seeing the concern in his eyes, Sam stepped back a safe distance from the rail, "Fine, if it makes you feel better, I'll move to the window sill."

"Yes, thank you."

Freddie followed Sam and sat down beside her. They sat silent for a comfortable minute before Sam piped up, "Hey, remember last week, when I said we should hire some tree elves to teach us how to make cookies?"

Freddie laughed at the memory. "Yeah?"

"Well I changed my mind, we should hire ninjas instead."

Amused, Freddie inquired, "Ninjas? Why?"

"So they can train all of us how to escape down the side of a building in case of a fire."

Freddie laughed at the image of the iCarly gang rappelling down the side of the building, clad in black. He looked over at Sam and could see her smirking at the same image. Slowly, he turned his gaze to their hands resting next to each other on the sill. Freddie bit his bottom lip and moved his hand over Sam's. Sam's head turned slightly towards Freddie, then shyly, she turned her open hand over, accepting his.

Even from her vantage point, Carly could see Sam blush. Watching them sit together, she realized that when they weren't fighting, they actually made an adorable couple. She thought about it a little more, then realized it's _when_ they're fighting that they were at their cutest.

Carly turned around, deciding to give her friends some privacy. As she headed down the hall, she heard the remnants of their conversation:

"You owe me five bucks."

"Whatever dork."

* * *

**End.**


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